Obedient Children & Faithful Fathers

0:10Thank you for listening to the Sermon Audio Podcast for Crossroads Reformed Baptist Church in Rockdale, Texas. Crossroads Reformed Baptist Church is a reformed confessional Baptist church that meets every Lord's Day at 10 a.m. for Bible study and 11 a.m. for corporate worship. For more information about our church or for directions, you can visit us online at www.crbcrockdale.org. Grace and peace to you from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

0:39Good morning again to everyone. As I said last week, we trust firmly in the providence of God and trust again, as we did last week and every week, that the message that he has for us this morning is timely, and we trust that it is needed for us this morning. I'll also say by word of warning that I didn't necessarily mention last week. This week, I will as well as last week maybe be a little more uh pointed, perhaps even harsh, you might say, uh, than perhaps I am normally. But given the nature of the text and the need uh for this this teaching uh in our present day, it perhaps does necessitate a little more zeal than is perhaps usual. Uh so just just know that in advance we we will preach the word this morning. As we begin, then let me remind you where we are um we're covering these uh very practical uh but gospel-focused sections in Ephesians concerning the relationship between the members of the body of Christ and the marriage relationship. And now today we cover the relationship between a parent, parents, and their child. And to that end, you can turn to uh I didn't ask you yet, Ephesians chapter six. We are in chapter six of Ephesians, covering verses one to verse four. As always, though, I will do my best to connect everything back around to Christ and the gospel. Stick with me to the end. We will get there. Um we will get there. But how great is our need today for teaching on obedience and godly leadership in the home? I would argue that the need today is no greater than the need has always been. But the problem of today is that we spend very little time in the church, perhaps, and in society, emphasizing the importance of obedience and godly virtue, especially within the home. Principally because the home is not heralded as it once was as a sacred place for the maturity and spiritual development of children, as well as the God-ordained vessel of sanctification for parents. It is mostly and sadly considered a burden. A temporary residence for kids until they grow up and move out on their own. So if we can just get them to 18 and off to college or in a job, then we have succeeded. This view has solely changed our view of the family over time, such that things that were previously unthinkable are now commonplace. Rampant disrespect for authority from all ages, very little accountability for the children that fathers have created. And statistics bear out these consequences. According to some studies, about 66%, this is two-thirds, of juvenile crimes are committed by kids from fatherless homes. Many studies have shown that incarceration rates in America are overwhelmingly from those broken homes. On the other side, multiple nationwide studies have shown that the lowest crime rates and highest success rates from any demographic or any subset of people is always found in those who grew up in stable homes with both biological parents present. I'll demonstrate that from scripture as well, but the principle is what we have been saying for weeks now. When we follow and when we live according to God's word, almost as if magic, society moves in a more positive direction. And sadly, the inverse is also true. As Christians, we all want to change the world for good, don't we? I hope we do. If not, you definitely should. The question is, how do we do that most effectively or effectively at all? So much time in the church is focused on things like overseas missions, community outreach, feeding the needy, church growth, church programs, youth programs, and some of those things are good and some are very good and needed. But why aren't we focused most heavily on the closest and most important mission field that we have, the home? The biggest epidemic we have spreading today isn't COVID or the flu or whatever else. It's disobedient, unfaithful, broken homes. Christian, if you want to change the world for good and for the glory of God, we start and we end with the most important focus, the home. It is obeying and teaching your family to obey the commands of God. Quite often we say, and rightfully so, that the gospel is the only way that can change lives, and I'll get to that, because it's true. But while that is true, we also have to ask, what about those who have been called and who have received the gospel and who do trust in Christ? Do we just check them off the list and assume everything will be okay with them? No, the second half of the Great Commission is to go and to make disciples and to teach them to obey all that Christ has commanded. Let us not neglect in the closest arena of discipleship our home. And that's what we will endeavor to do in the text this morning. So if you would please stand with me once more while we read our text. Ephesians chapter 6, starting in verse 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is the word of the Lord. Lord, we thank you for your word. We pray and ask, would you please, Lord, use this word to edify your people and to reprove us this morning, Lord, that we may be transformed into the image of Christ. It is in his name that I pray. Amen. The Apostle Paul wrote a few other letters in the Bible, other than Ephesians, I'm sure you are aware. In his letter to the Romans, chapter 1, he gives a very pointed list, though perhaps not fully comprehensive, of the particular sins of a world that has turned from God. I will read Romans 1, starting in verse 28. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They were full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. All of these things that he mentions spawn from God giving a people over, that is, removing his restraining grace as a result of a people desiring not to acknowledge him, but rather to acknowledge only themselves and their own personal desires. When a people rejects God, in preference to their own God or their own ways, at some point God says, okay, have what you want. Live according to your foolish and debased mind if you think that is better. In that list, I read with the emphasis added, disobedient children are the outworking of God giving a people over to sin and judgment, of them having rejected him and his authority and his wisdom. And it's not just there. 2 Timothy 3, verse 1. But understand this, Paul says to Timothy, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty, for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving God, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of good and having the appearance of godness, but denying its power. All of these signs that are promised to accompany those difficult times due to unbelief and rejection of God, we see that disobedience to children is listed among all of those other sins. Pride, arrogance, brutality, treachery, recklessness, conceit, slander, right there in the middle of all of that, is disobedient children. I'm gonna pick on the older generations for just a minute. Which I assume actually I'm transitioning into at this at this point. Older generations always say the same thing as they bemoan the error of the kids of a present generation, right? I don't even need to say it. Kids these days. Kids these days, they say. But those who say such things, how few will admit that at least in part, and perhaps in whole, it was their disobedience that produced the very thing that they were so quick to complain about. I don't understand why kids are so disobedient, and I don't understand why kids are so disrespectful. Have you heard this? I do. I'll tell you, but you may not want to hear it. We have disobedient kids because we had a generation before that rejected to live according to God. They lived according to their own wisdom. And we are now eating the fruits of debased minds that didn't submit to Christ. So what I would like to see is a lot less complaining about the present state of our culture, about the present state of virtue and obedience, and a lot more confession of sin and personal repentance for the foolishness that has led and gotten us to where we are. Let me give you an illustration. This might soften the blow just a little bit. Since it's football season, perhaps it's appropriate to use a football analogy. Every year when a team does poorly on the field, and I won't say AM, I won't say it. And the coach has to sit in that uncomfortable press room and answer questions about his team's performance. He doesn't throw his players under the bus and say, you know, kids these days, right? I've never heard a coach say that. Maybe they have. Instead, he takes all the responsibility, doesn't he? I've got to do a better job of getting them ready to play, he might say. I've got to do a better job of calling the offense. We've got to do a better job of play calling. I've got to get them more disciplined on third down, that's something he will say. And if he doesn't do those things, which he knows he should do, and that he is taking responsibility for, and the performance doesn't improve and yield winning results, what happens to said coach? He's looking for a new job. Because whatever happens on the field is his to own. It's his to own. We understand this. We applaud this virtue and braveness in standing up for your guys on the field, taking responsibility. But when a culture of kids are in rampant disobedience, we blame everything except where the blame should rest. Who will stand up and say the L's are on me? I need to be better. So before we even address the command to children, which we will, let us take some personal accountability here. And for those young adults who, Lord willing, will be going into parenthood in the next few years. Understand that having children is accepting the most important, for lack of a better word, managerial position you could ever have. And if you aren't ready to take on that accountability, don't take the job. And yes, there is nuance here. There are situations where despite our best efforts and despite our faithful obedience, kids still rebel. But generally, this is not the case. And we must, listen, we must never bury our heads in the sands of nuance to avoid accountability. We know this is generally not the case because the Bible says it's not the case. Proverbs 22, verse 6 train up a child in the way that he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. That's not a blanket promise. That's not a certain law, but this is good, true, godly wisdom. And we should heed that and live by it. We can't be a hundred percent sure that good training will always equal good performance, right? We can't. But we can be certain that bad training almost always produces bad performance. Okay, that transitions us then to focus on the children and the call to honor your father and mother. I will read that verse again for us. Um starting in verse 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you in the land. It may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land. And that's a quotation from the Ten Commandments. And I'll read that from Exodus 20 specifically, just so you can hear it. If you want to turn, you'd have to turn very quickly. It's Exodus 20 and verse 12. It says this in the law honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving to you, almost. A word-for-word quotation by Paul. This is the first commandment with the promise. If you follow this, your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving to you. This does not mean that you will live to be a hundred if you honor your parents. But generally speaking, the promise is that your life will be notably better and more blessed if you honor your parents. Because the opposite is so clearly true. When children trust their own wisdom, when they think they know better, when they dishonor their parents, when they make foolish decisions, when they refuse to listen, they're not only dishonoring their parents, they're dishonoring God. And God will say to them, Romans 1, you think you got it figured out? Let's see how that works out for you. So I say first to the children, that is, those who are still at home, if you love your God, if you desire to honor Christ, if you have any holy fear of God, if you desire to give yourself the best chance of joyful, faithful, successful life, you will listen to and respect and obey your parents. The reality, though, is that we live the vast majority of our lives not as children under 18. So does that mean that this command has an expiration date? The Jews thought it did. Here are the words from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 15, verse 1. Then the Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus and said to him, Why do your disciples break the traditions of the elders, for they do not wash their hands when they eat? He answered them, Why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded honor your father and mother. And whoever reviles father and mother must surely die. But if you say, or but you say, if anyone tells his father or his mother what you would have gained from me is given to God, he need not honor his father. So for the sake of your tradition, you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites. Well did Isaiah prophesy of you when he said, This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. In vain do they worship me, teaching the doctrines and the commandments of men. So what's going on there? Jewish men grew up, and they moved out of their house, and they began to be very religious men. So much so that they gave lots of money to the synagogue, to the church. And perhaps they would then keep a little back for themselves, you know, for their future. And so then, as their parents began to age and needed help and were in times of need, the Jewish men would say, I'd love to help you. I'd love to be there for you and give you money, but I've given it all to God. I've given it to the church. I don't have anything left. And for the sake of his tradition, which was primarily about just appearing righteous, he is dishonoring the word of God. And his duty to the command to honor his father and his mother. Hear me. Hear me when I say this. As rampant as the epidemic of disobedient kids is, just as rampant is adult children who have plenty of time and money for everything else in life. But when his aging parents need help, all of a sudden he can't spare a dime or an hour. What is the heart of the law? What is that trying to communicate by God saying, honor your father and your mother? As we honor God, we are to honor and obey and serve our parents from life to death, respecting and obeying them in our youth, honoring and caring for them in our adulthood. Not from obligation, but from gratitude. Not only for them for giving us life, because without them, where would we be? But even more, it is a picture of honor and display and reverence to God, who through them has given us everything. Again, I say there is always some nuance there, I know, and wisdom needs to be applied. But this is the clear teaching of the word. That brings us then to the final verse. And I'll speak for a minute directly to the fathers. Verse 4. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. When I was growing up, it was a very common thing, perhaps still is, for fathers to hold their sons back a grade in school so that they would have a more competitive edge in sports. Did they still still do this? I think maybe they still do. Especially if they were a little on the younger side for their grade, they would essentially get them an extra year of eligibility, right? So they could give them more opportunities in sports. How very pragmatic we are, right? So much of what we do in our culture surrounding the decisions about things like education, our focus solely on the desire to get our kids into a better college, to set them up for a better career. We even upend our lives, we'll move to a different city. We will exasperate or berate kids at every turn so that they can do better in high school, so they can play for a better team, so that they can get into a better college. I fear we have totally changed this command to fathers, provoke your children to anger and bring them up in the motives and the pragmatism of the world. But what does the command really say? It says, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. That is, be firm but kind and rear them in the maturity of the Lord. We said this before, but I'm gonna say it again, and it won't be the last time I say it. Our children are only on loan to us. As Brother Stephen talked about stewardship this morning, we are stewards of them for a time. Our focus then is not primarily to mature them to live their best life or their most successful life now, though certainly we do pray for that. But rather the focus is to ground their souls in the hope and the assurance of the gospel. This is the focus, parents, fathers. To bring them to faith and obedience to God. Because what does it profit a father to raise his son or daughter to gain the whole world but lose their soul? An illustration I read from Lloyd Jones was providential, and it was timely given that this is fair season. I think it's fair season. I don't know, called what it is a fair. I think Rockdale one's coming up, I suppose. How much time and attention do we spend grooming and pampering and feeding animals that we attend to show at a fair? It seems obvious that if you want a prize-winning rabbit, you have to concern yourself with every detail of their care and any neglect will drastically affect the outcome of the animal. I've never raised rabbits for show, but I feel that's true. Okay, I'm getting some knots. It should go without saying, but I'm saying it. Aren't our young ones a far greater value than a rabbit or a pig or a turkey? Turkeys are the worst. Fathers, have you thought? Have you thought about it? Do you even consider that your Lord has made you a guardian of eternal souls? What are we doing with this highest and sobering responsibility? Men will agonize over every detail and speck, making the best decision for their zero turn lower. I know, I've looked into these things. We'll spend hours of research on the shaft flex and spin rate for those new irons, right? But when it comes to the stewardship of eternal souls, here's a Bible. I'll drop you off at youth group. Let me know if you have any questions. May this never be for us. Our children must be our first priority men. Raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Nurture. This is the whole process of life by which we form their virtue, which we form their godly disposition. Admonition or discipline is not only concerned with conduct, but with the formation of a soul, a godly soul. This is done through encouragement, through teaching, through reproof, through correction. This is all done in the Lord. That is by his word and for his glory. So ask the men have you considered this call in the same way you consider everything else in your life? Does this have your top priority? Or do you have greater wishes from your children than faithful obedience to God? And certainly also mothers are included in this list. I'm not leaving you out intentionally. This command is equally significant for you, but the command comes through the father. It only works the way God has intended when the father is leading the charge here. God has done something incredible with young kids. If you have young kids or had young kids, you know this. And that God has given young kids an acute hypocrisy detector. Fathers, especially, you can't just talk about it. You have to be about it. Your kids will sniff out the hypocrisy in an instant. And they do. Okay, in conclusion then, as promised, there are significant gospel implications here. Let us remember the fallen condition of man. When Adam and Eve fell in the garden, they died spiritually, such that they and all of humanity after them incurred spiritual corruption. In this fallen and depraved state, our hearts, our wills, our actions, our decisions, everything was bent towards that which is contrary to God. This is the doctrine of total depravity in which we are all under. In this state of cursed corruption and inability to do good, we required something or someone to come in and break this curse, to free us from the spiritual and moral corrupt prison that we are in. And because God loved us, he would not let his children stay in hopeless despair. So in the fullness of time, he sent forth his son, born of a virgin, perfect and without stain of his spiritual and moral corruption, to fulfill his righteous requirement, that which Adam failed. And Christ, of course, being fully God, was able to perfectly obey as the Father commanded, right? And at the same time, being fully man, he was worthy to stand in our place in judgment. A perfect God and a perfect man, deserving only righteousness, yet he who knew no sin became sin that we might become the righteousness of God. He lived our life, he paid our debt, he took our judgment on the cross to free us from this curse of sin. And just as death came to all through Adam, so life comes to all through Jesus Christ. That being true, the only way for man to be right and holy is not through his own merit, not through being a good, great father, but through the merit of another, Jesus Christ, received through faith in him who was and is everything we could ever need. What this means for us this morning is that truly the only remedy for all the problems of the world, including the disobedient parents and disobedient children, is the gospel of Christ. Apart from this gospel, there is only fake self-righteousness. There is only blatant disobedience, there is no other options. If one doesn't receive this good news by faith and by the Spirit is conformed to the image of God, there is no hope, there is no truth, there is no peace. If the greatest need then of man is to be reborn from above by the Spirit, and the only way to peace and to goodness are by that same rebirth, then aren't all our efforts as Christians in vain if we do not seek to bring the ends of the earth, bring to the ends of the earth the knowledge of the truth, that salvation is found in none other than Christ alone? How do we get to the ends of the earth? Church, the ends of the earth are reached one household at a time. The ends of the earth start with men and fathers being called by our heavenly father to faith in Christ and committing themselves to being transformed into the likeness of Christ, by women and wives being called by our heavenly Father in Christ, and committing themselves to being transformed into the image of Christ. From there, marriages are transformed. Children are brought to faith and obedience to Christ, homes are transformed, churches are transformed, communities are transformed, and so the whole world will be filled with his glory. This is how it works. This is the promise of God, and it will come to pass. May we trust that today. And men, may you declare today, again, or for the first time, that your house will serve the Lord. And through that faith and through that commitment, may our lives and our homes reflect the command of God, as we have seen in these passages starting back a few weeks ago. Church, the gospel is how we win souls for the glory of the triune God. The gospel is how we will win souls for the glory of the triune God. But the gospel and the word applied to ourselves and to our children. This is how we win the world. And Christ will win the world. Amen. Let's pray. Lord, we thank you again for this good and pointed word from your word to us, Lord. We pray and ask that you would be with us, Lord, as parents. Help us to serve you and everything. Help us to commit our lives to you, Lord, to walk in obedience to you, Lord. Help fathers, Lord, to commit themselves to raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Lord, be with the children in this room. Help them by your spirit to see. Lord, their need. Not only for you, Lord, not only for salvation in you, as the only means by which they will be saved, Lord, but help them see, Lord, the need to obey. For this is right. Lord, may we model for the watching world what it means to be submissive to one another in the home, to be leading husbands, to be submissive wives, to have obedient children. Lord, help us to live that way. That ultimately through that the world will see Christ and the church and your love for all of us. We thank you for your gospel. Thank you for your church. We thank you for your word. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.