The Glory of Submission

0:10Thank you for listening to the Sermon Audio Podcast for Crossroads Reformed Baptist Church in Rockdale, Texas. Crossroads Reformed Baptist Church is a reformed confessional Baptist church that meets every Lord's Day at 10 a.m. for Bible study and 11 a.m. for corporate worship. For more information about our church or for directions, you can visit us online at www.crbcrockdale.org. Grace and peace to you from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

0:40Let's turn together to the book of Ephesians, chapter 5, and verse 22. As we begin then to approach our text this morning and these next sections of Paul's letter to the Ephesians, I think we will approach these texts with collective zeal and excitement. Yes? To hear again the word of the Lord guide us on the application of his truth in our lives. Let me remind you again, then, where we left off a couple weeks ago, on the foremost principle of these sections. Not only that informs the relationships spoken about in the verses that we are covering today and following, but also those that we previously covered and that we will continue to return to, and that is the relationships within the body, the church. And the principle, that guiding principle that we will continue to return to and that will guide us, is given to us in verse 20 and 21 of Ephesians chapter 5, and I will read that again for us so we can have that in our mind, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. The guiding principle then is thankful submission to God and to one another out of reverence for Christ. If that broad and general thought stays at the front of our minds as that first principle, then our call to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ, if that is the first principle, then the more specific command that we will get to, or the more specific commands that we will get to, specifically this morning for wives to submit to their own husbands, should be a command readily and gladly received. If one would happily embrace and proclaim, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, why would we have any trouble at all with wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord? Is this not the same command given once generally and then brought to a more specific and personal application? Would one delight in submitting to their fellow church members? Would one delight even in submitting to their elders, but bristle at the thought of submission to their own husbands? If so, I ask why. One might say, but the submission is mutual. So he has to submit to me too. To that I say, yes, amen. Fine, good. We'll talk about the husband next week. But why is that more broad application used as justification to push against or to disobey the more specific command? Again, is not the wife's submission to her husband as to the Lord a fulfillment and conformance to both that general and the specific command? Of course it is. So we receive both with joy and thanksgiving out of reverence for Christ. We make it our goal then to obey both. We do this because we understand that the biblical pattern is always to give a broad application or a broad principle, and then further define that through specifics of how that principle plays out specifically in our lives. For the sake of time, since I am still in the introduction, I'm going to only give you one example of how this plays out. Again, the passage I mentioned last week, Romans 12, verse 10, says this: love one another with a brotherly affection, outdo one another in showing honor. This is the general principle. Just a little later in Romans, Paul says more specifically how that plays out in real life in chapter 13, verse 1, let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. A few verses later he says, pay all to what is owed to them, taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, and honor to whom honor is owed. So the general principle there is outdo one another in showing honor. Specifically, though, in life, one of the ways in which we fulfill that command, we honor one another, is honoring the authorities that God Himself has ordained over us. I do not think anyone would shake their fist at the IRS and say, I don't have to pay your taxes because the Bible says that we are supposed to outdo one another in honor, so you have to honor me the same. No illustration is perfect, I understand, but you get the point. The general doesn't mean there are no specifics. And the specifics don't somehow override the general. We receive them both and apply them within their proper context. And by God's grace, then, according to the wisdom given to us by the Spirit, this is what we will labor to do this morning. We will apply them in this context. So let's stand then as we read. Ephesians 5, starting in verse 22. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their own husbands. This is the word of the Lord. Lord, we thank you for this word. We thank you for the glory of submission that you have shown to us in your text. Not only here in this passage, Lord, but more broadly as the church submits to Christ. Lord, we pray and ask by your Spirit, would you reveal the truth of this scripture to us this morning? Would you guard my words? Lord, let them be true and let them be edifying to the body. We ask all these things in the name of Jesus. Amen. There is a paradox of the Christian walk that we talked about when we were going through the book on spiritual disciplines. And that is the paradox that the more sanctified we become, the less sanctified we feel. We can put it another way, the more holy we become, the less holy we feel. Have you experienced this? That's something Charles Spurgeon articulated far better than I ever could, so I'm just going to quote him. He says, quote, I suppose that the nearer we get to heaven, the more conscious we shall be of our imperfections. The more light of God we get, the more we discover our own darkness. Thankfully, he also explains that a little further by saying this, quote, it is not that we are greater sinners as we grow older, but that we have a finer sensibility of sin. And we see that to be sin which we winked at in the days of our ignorance. It is the carnal man who thinks that his actions and his life have put him in good graces with God. And so he is constantly comparing himself against his peers, and perhaps as he grows, he feels better and better about himself. The Christian, though, being sanctified by the Spirit, is always having the Holy Spirit uncover every depth of remaining sin and is ever comparing himself to the perfection of Christ. And so will inevitably become more and more aware of the chasm that separates them and God, bridged only by the person and work of Christ. When we apply that principle to our passage this morning, it presents a very significant problem if we don't realize that that is what is going on. Women, I contend that the more you are sanctified to obey this command that is given to us this morning, the more will be uncovered that you are still holding on to. And this can be frustrating at times, as you may find yourself working diligently to surrender things that you've previously kicked against, only to discover ten more things you are resisting your husband's leadership and guidance on that you never even thought about before. I say that only to warn you in advance here, that a commitment to obedience in this area is indeed a lifelong commitment to battle against the passions and the desires of the flesh. This is why so many weak women would rather stay a reviling wife than push through the struggle to become a biblical wife. I trust that is none of you. I genuinely do. Our text then, verse 22. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. If the general principle then is to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, then here we see that principle applied directly to the wife. Wives are called to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord, the text says. I'll say that again. Because a wife is called to submit to their own husbands, this does not mean that they do not have to submit to anyone else. You have heard this a million times, perhaps. You can't tell me what to do, you aren't my husband. Doesn't such an attitude, though, violate the general principle of submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. In the same way, we cannot use the general principle to excuse obedience to the specific. The context always matters. Meaning that a husband's rule over the family and the household is not an infallible and unquestioning authority. A wife faithfully submitting to her husband has a duty, an obligation to call into question the husband's leadership when it is clearly disobedient to the word of God. See 1 Samuel chapter 25. We just covered it this morning, Abigail v. Nabal. And far too often this is interpreted as wives submit to your own husbands as equal to the Lord. And in all of those cases, unless the husband is perfect as the Lord is perfect, which I've never met a perfect man, and nor will I ever, problems inevitably ensue. We must be careful with and use wisdom and discernment here. What this is teaching, though, is the same principle we see many other places in Scripture. For example, 1 Corinthians chapter 10, verse 31. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God. That is to say, the whole of our lives are brought under the authority of Christ, and all that we do is done in a way that brings honor and glory to God. And so, wives, submit to your own husbands because submission brings glory to God. When you consider this teaching purely in light of the teaching of Scripture, it seems so plain and so obvious. So why do we struggle so much here, church? There are a number of reasons. Sin in general is perhaps the most obvious, but most prominent, certainly in our culture, is inevitably the stain of feminism upon our culture and our minds. At the heart of feminism is the breaking down of distinctions in an attempt to make everyone equal in every way. This is what it does. Because we don't like distinctions, right? We don't like that some people have things that others don't. We don't like it that some get to do things that others don't. We don't like that God blesses in various ways, and that some are talented in ways that others aren't. We don't like that some are more intelligent than others, that some are more gifted than others, that some are more blessed than others. We don't like it that some are healthy and live a healthy lives while others struggle with myriads of health problems. In our worldly wisdom and our fleshly pride, we don't like these things. And we try to fix them. And we develop our theologies to explain such things away. Our politics attempt to fix those things by creating the isms, socialism and communism, where we try to make all aspects of life equal. Our theology attempts to fix these things by creating its own isms, egalitarianism, which just means all being equal. Complementarianism, where there are no longer any distinct roles in the family and in the church. What we are really doing is attempting to excuse God from His teaching, from His will, and from His authority by inventing opinions to fix the things that we think He has messed up on. All of the isms are an assault on the authority and the sovereignty of God and His Word and the reality of His creation. The truth is that these distinctions are built into the body of Christ, the church, right? And though these distinctions don't carry any sort of disproportionate value, we're all equal in terms of value before God. All are not a mouth, all are not an eye. There are many members with varied roles and responsibilities, but one body. The positive, then, is the wife who genuinely desires to submit to Christ, to subject herself to the authority of Scripture, and who understands the truth of these clear distinctions contained within God's word and contained within his body, his church, will lovingly embrace this command. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Perhaps you still don't, though. Perhaps you still have these attitudes. We've been subjected to submission for far too long, and the world and the church are still in shambles. It's our turn. I've heard this. Culture is so different now, we've moved past these patriarchal ways of thinking. I've heard that. My husband is hardly worth submitting to. I've heard that. To all that, I say Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. If the command was there, the command is still there. And no appeal to culture or to a husband's failures or to the state of the church does anything to negate the unchanging and unfailing Word of God, period. Maybe you say, easy for you to say. You're not the one being asked to submit. I'm glad you brought that up. I would encourage you to come back next week when we discuss the role of the husband. And determine then if you actually want the role you're grasping for. Not that you're grasping. All those that clamor for authority don't know in truth, don't want all the things that headship requires, really. Because headship is most often shaped like a cross, at least it should be. And a good husband and a good leader will stand in the gap, will lay down his life in every way. We'll take on the wolves, we'll wrestle the bear, we'll fight the enemy, we'll protect those in his care to the point of death. We will, men, we must. Die for our brides. Won't you follow that? Ladies. I want to turn then uh to the grounding of this command in both creation and the gospel. I think this is important. Grounding this command in creation and in the gospel. Paul says in verse 23, and I'll read that for us again in verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Paul says there that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. This is creation, and it's gospel-grounding language, if you know anything at all about the rest of the Bible and the rest of the time, Paul uses the exact same language. I'll read those for you. 1 Corinthians verse 11, Paul says this. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of every wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. And a few verses later, he grounds that in creation. Verse 8, for a man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. And again in 1 Timothy 2, verse 11, Paul says this, Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, rather she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Eve was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Again, grounded in creation, grounded in the fall, where the design of God was for man to lead in creation, into the mission of creation, and to subdue the earth, and the woman was created. To help man in his mission, as his helper and as his support. And Peter presses this even further than Paul. Peter says this in 1 Peter 3, verse 1, likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands. In the following of verse 7, likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel. If you want to stir up the consternation of the modern feminists and the egalitarians, all you have to do is proclaim that a woman has no place in leadership in the home and in church because they were not created for it, as Paul says, and that they are in fact weaker vessels, as Peter says. A woman is indeed weaker than a man in every way where leadership is concerned. Physically weaker, emotionally and passionately weaker, that is more subject to passions, nervously weaker, that is far more affected physically and mentally by stress. These are realities. Women are wonderfully created for a whole host of glorious and God-honoring things, but not to lead, rather to support. This is how they function best. This is what they are best at. So for a husband to not actively be the head of his wife and to treat her as equal in roles is to allow her to be put in situations not suited for her creational disposition. This is what God's word says. And to not love her as God intended for her to be loved. Again, as Paul alludes, such was contributing factors to the fall. So, yes, it is unloving for a husband to allow his wife to lead in the home and in the church, because it is forcing her into situations and to roles that God did not design her to fulfill. In the same way, Christ is the head of the church, and the church, and should the church ever think itself to be equal in roles to Christ and attempt to take on those things which only Christ can do, she, the church, will find herself in a host of error and despair. If we understand this clearly, then with respect to Christ and the church, why do we struggle with it so much in marriage? And we do. When Paul equates the latter as the image to understand the former, that is, marriage is the image to understand the church. Don't take my word for it, just in case you think I'm up here spouting nonsense. Hear the words of Martin Lloyd Jones, quote, but the emphasis therefore is this that man is responsible not only for himself, but for his wife and for his family in all ultimate matters. The wife is to help him, to support him, to aid him, and to do everything she can in order to enable him to function as the Lord, lowercase L of creation, into which position God has placed him. She is brought into being in order to help man to perform that great and wonderful and glorious task. End quote. Looking at this, though, from a gospel perspective, that's from a creation perspective. From a gospel perspective, perhaps we get even more clarity here. Paul says that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of his church, his body, and is himself its savior. We read that. That's verse 23. So if we are to receive the husband and wife relationship as the image of the gospel, reflecting the relationship between Christ and his church, with Christ being the Savior of the church, what does that mean? What does Christ do for the church? Well, beyond the ultimate salvific component that our relationships can't properly image, because Christ was the once-for-all propitiation for our sins, what else does Christ do to save the church? What does Paul mean here as its savior? Christ saves the church like a shepherd saves sheep. He maintains a closeness with them. He cares for their every need in a loving way. He keeps danger away. He provides for them. This is what Christ does for the church. And in turn, the church follows Christ, trusting that he has our best interest at heart in all things, and gladly submits to him as provider and protector and leader. This is the relationship of Christ and the church. And in that way, wives image the church when they submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Maybe that's still difficult for you to hear, but that is exactly what Paul is saying. That wives image the church when they submit to their husbands as Christ, as the church submits to Christ. And so for all the talk about Christians desiring to live the gospel, have you heard this? Let's live the gospel. Right? We want to live a life that displays the truth and the goodness of God so that it draws others into the sweetness of grace, in that perhaps we miss one of the most obvious ways this happens. Married women. From a biblical perspective, if you are serious about living the gospel, the best and most obvious way that you can do that, according to Scripture, is submitting to your own husbands as Christ submits to the church. By doing so, you show the world what it looks like to follow and submit to Christ. On the opposite side, a wife who is jockeying for power against her husband, who's pushing back on everything, who's questioning authority, who's lobbying for egalitarian equality in all things, how does this communicate to an unbeliever what we teach in the church about submission to Christ? If we spend all our time over some power struggle over our roles, how do we show the world what glad submission looks like? We can't. So, wives, whether you like it or not, I hope you do, your role, your call is to show the world, to image the church, to live the gospel, that because Christ laid down his life for the church to save her, to save her from her sins, the church then with gratitude and thanksgiving submits herself to Christ. The bridegroom saves the bride, makes her ready to receive him, and in turn she follows as he leads. This is the image. Again, I say if we take issue with these direct one-to-one comparisons between the gospel message being imaged in our relationship, specifically the marriage relationship, then we take issue with the Word of God because this is what it is saying to us. I contend that we have no problem culturally with the virtue of glad and proper submission. And we would champion it in many other areas of life, except when we flush it out in the marriage relationship, then we have problems. It is only here where we say, hold on, you've gone too far. Have I, though? Listen again, in case you missed it. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. I'll conclude then with some practical applications. There are far too many ways that this plays out in the life of marriage for me to have any hope of covering it in a meaningful way here. So if you have thoughts, as possibly you do, if you have questions, write them down, save them, and we will talk about them in depth at any time, Wednesdays or otherwise. But I'll say two things then, in conclusion, by way of application. There is no doubt that the text does mean everything when it says everything, meaning that it is a wife's responsibility to respect and honor the leading of her husband in everything. She must not begrudgingly submit, or reluctantly submit, or act like she is submitting, but then just do whatever she wants and convince him later that this was a better idea, anyway. That's not submission, it's manipulation. That is sin. Further wives, you must allow him to actually lead. Even when he makes mistakes, perhaps especially. Even when you aren't certain it's the best idea. Even when you think you know better or more. Husbands must learn to lead. They must be sanctified into leading well. And the only way that is possible is when they actually lead, right? And so many times a wife will complain that her husband doesn't lead well, but she's never stopped reviling long enough to let him actually lead. Ladies, I know you think you know everything. I don't blame you. Because that's what the culture tells you. But we have a wonderful group of elders here, and I know I'm biased in saying that, who will keep pushing the men of our congregation and keep teaching as we teach one another to learn to lead well and to lead biblically. Trust God, trust his word, trust the overseers of the church. Trust your husbands to learn and to lead well. So I'm asking you to turn the page on your marriage today if you've been struggling here. Obey the word of God. Submit to your husbands and everything. Walk by that faith. Listen, walk by that faith and obedience and see what God does in your life. See what he does in your heart. See what he does in your marriage. Do this, wives and future wives. Not for my sake, not for your sake, not for your husband's sake, though all benefit from it, but do it for Christ's sake. Do it for the glory of God. Do it to show a world that so desperately needs to see what glad and joyful submission to Christ looks like. Do it so the world may know that the bridegroom has laid his life down for his bride, and he will present her on the last day, clothed in white and adorned in heavenly glory. Do it because next week we see what it means for a husband to give himself up for, to sanctify, and to love his bride as his own body. This is so opposite of the world, right? So contrary to the world. And it is for that reason we can be sure that there is indeed glory in submission. Amen. Let's pray. Lord, we thank you as always for your word. Lord, even when it is difficult and especially when it is difficult for us, Lord, I pray and ask that you would help us as we move through these very practical texts, Lord. Would you stir us up now, specifically today, Lord? I pray and ask, would your spirit move in the hearts of all the women here, Lord, to be obedient to your word, Lord? I pray and ask by that same Spirit, Lord, by your spirit, would you convict them, Lord, into their hearts the sin that they are still holding on to in this area? Lord, the things in which they refuse, Lord, to submit to, the ways in which the culture has permeated their minds and hearts in which they are being disobedient to your word, Lord, I pray and ask, Lord, would you convict them? Would they confess that sin, Lord, to you and to their husbands? And would you help them turn? Lord, would you help the husbands as well to lead well as we move into that thought next week? Lord, we thank you that it is through your word that you are shaping us and making us more into your image and to more like Christ, Lord, as painful and as difficult as it is. We thank you, Lord. We embrace it. We delight in your word. Because we know that you chasten those whom you love. Lord, and you have promised that you love us in and through the work of Christ, and according to your grace and mercy. And so we trust that this morning, Lord. Help us. We ask all these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.